By Bartje000A on 21/07/02 09:22
brrb brrb brrrr Hmmm <@!708501498384089100> <@!469929535635456020> I have been thinking if i should do this or not, but i already dug a hole… might as well digging deeper …aaanyways probably didn’t have to but still feel like it.
anyways last weekend things happened and mainly just want to say sorry to two of my friends Triss and X3rr4.
i know i don’t have to and was a miss understanding but the thing isi noticed that somebody thought something that wasn’t true and felt like i have to say as to why i left/ghosted or
disappear… give it a name…the thing is for the peeps don’t know i’m autistic and have a little depression… so yeah that means i can react different towards certain things… i took a question as a sort of in a was
as a offence…not that it was i just read it and took as i read it… thing it is difficult for me to understand in witch way people mean things since it can’t see their face and or hear their
tone of voice… soo i recognised that i took it the wrong way and need to take a step back just let it be for what it is… i wasn’t mad…i was more upset and disappointed at my self
the reason why i choose to be away and be silent is because i need to get my self in order before i can and feel like i can talk again to a certain person or people… this is me not
ignoring you… it’s just me taking the time off… though there is also irl problems that is there so it takes longer for me… yes i know i’m weird and this is just how i do things.
i choose to be silent and talk again when i feel like i’m ready again that does not mean i’m angry/pouting or other things… anyways sorry for the comment’s i made back then… but to answer you question… i made the render because that’s
just how i feel and wanted it to mean something to me… as to i put two of my fears in there… maybe X3rr4 knows what i’m talking about… but even with my other renders
i want it to mean something other then…wellll pornocraphic stuff… as of well yes i feel depressed a lot of the times and i know i’m not the only one… wanted to make something that has
a little more meaning to me and tells something about me as of i show you a peace of my self to you… not that you would have known because well i never said it, but hope you understand it.
Now i don’t know if it a bad or good idea to do… like a friend told me why not make happy renders to lift the mood up… well i just simply don’t feel like making it all the time
it’s like putting up a smile towards everybody… while you are not feeling happy… but anyways hope this clears up a little… hope you have a great weekend!